Homeless People Are Like A Genie in the Bottle --- Don't Rub Them the Wrong Way

I got a pair of cowboy boots the other day. There are some songs that make me want to slowly tap my feet. The slower I tap my feet, the more like a cowboy I feel. Cowboys don’t dance fast. Real cowboys sit in the corner and slowly tap their feet.

I went to the mall because they have 7 shoe stores. I started at Payless and ended at the Finish Line. That was a pun, but it’s true, so it’s even funnier. None of the 7 stores had cowboy boots. I even went into the Lady’s Foot Locker, but still no boots with spurs.

The next day at work I tried some of the specialty shoe stores they have downtown. I spent my whole lunch hour at shoe stores, but nobody had cowboy boots. When I got back to the office I put on some music and started to tap my foot, but it just didn’t feel right.

I had just about given up on my dream when I saw a homeless man sitting on the ground. I thought, “You’re complaining about not having boots, but that guy probably doesn’t have shoes,” so I gave him a quarter. He looked up mournfully and said, “Now I shall grant you three wishes,” in a crazy homeless voice. I was already walking past him when he said it, so I stopped and thought about it. I said, “I wish I had some cowboy boots.”

I didn’t notice them before, but when I made my wish the homeless man bent over, took off a pair of cowboy boots, and handed them to me saying, “You have two more wishes.” Stunned beyond belief I said, “A billion dollars and a Corvette. I wish for a billion dollars and a Corvette.” He took a pair of keys out of his pocket, got up, walked over to a trash can and picked up a briefcase. He handed me the briefcase, but he didn’t let go. We both held it and he said, “You don’t know what you’ve done. You’ve wished curses upon yourself, curses and curses. You don’t drive stick and the money will destroy you. Who can you trust now?” And he laughed.

Right before he let go of the briefcase, he leaned into me and said, “The only way this money wouldn’t curse you is if you did something good to deserve it. You had your chance, you had any wish, and you did nothing for the man who gave you the shoes off of his feet. Nobody ever helps the hand that feeds.” I thought about it and I asked him, “What about the cowboy boots?”

He said, “You didn’t really want a billion dollars and you didn’t really want a Corvette. But you really wanted those boots. You’ll be okay with the boots.” He turned around, walked into the street and was hit by a car. “I wish he had told me that first,” I said to myself.