Aqua Fit

Aqua Fit sounds like it would be a pretty sweet workout. I imagined it to be a pool filled with people lifting the water weights and having noodle races. Shauna and I went to Aqua Fit together and there were four older women in the pool. We got in the pool and didn't talk to them. More older women came in the pool. They were all doing ballet jumps in formation.

Shauna had taken me to water aerobics. Aqua Fit is water aerobics. Everything started to make sense. We decided to leave.

It was worse than Bride Wars.

When I Was 13

When I was 13, I wrote in my grade school year book that my future occupation would be the driver of the Oscar Mayer wiener mobile. The Oscar Mayer company is now taking applications for that job. When I found out, I got really excited. I thought it was a chance to make my education come around full circle until I stopped and thought harder. Come around full circle? Really? That's stupid.

I don't want what I wanted when I was 13. I want what I want now.

Movies

I saw 3 movies today: The Wrestler, Revolutionary Road, and Bride Wars. While watching Bride Wars, I felt like less of a man.

Alfred

alfersaurus (12:20:09 PM): u little slut
alfersaurus signed off at 12:24:05 PM.
alfersaurus is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
alfersaurus signed on at 12:54:41 PM.
Skrubby88 (1:38:14 PM): www.someton.blogspot.com
Skrubby88 (1:38:17 PM): it's my blog
Skrubby88 (1:38:30 PM): i need stuff to write about because i'm not interesting
alfersaurus (1:38:47 PM): some ton
Skrubby88 (1:38:54 PM): yes
Skrubby88 (1:39:02 PM): it's somerton, my neighborhood, without the R
alfersaurus (1:39:26 PM): u have two followers
Skrubby88 (1:39:50 PM): Shauna and the guy I'm in a blog writing contest with
alfersaurus (1:40:03 PM): dude
alfersaurus (1:40:07 PM): this is so gay
Skrubby88 (1:40:13 PM): i know, i need to make it better
alfersaurus (1:40:24 PM): u spend ur free time reviewing a bar which no one is gonna read
alfersaurus (1:40:30 PM): and ur review isnt even good
alfersaurus (1:40:36 PM): cheap beer and they let u sing
Skrubby88 (1:40:44 PM): We all had a good time
Skrubby88 (1:41:03 PM): well, i had a good time
Skrubby88 (1:41:21 PM): what should i write about?
alfersaurus (1:41:22 PM): u write about shaving ur back
Skrubby88 (1:41:28 PM): i did
alfersaurus (1:42:16 PM): i want the last 5 minutes of my life back
Skrubby88 (1:42:26 PM): what should my next article be about?
alfersaurus (1:42:28 PM): thats was sooo bad
alfersaurus (1:42:35 PM): about how u are no lohnger going to blog
Skrubby88 (1:42:49 PM): but how else will i express my views to the world?
alfersaurus (1:42:55 PM): or at least how u are going to keep it to urself from now on
alfersaurus (1:43:00 PM): at paddy wacks
alfersaurus (1:43:04 PM): express them there

Bar Review: Hooked at Paddy Whacks

I was at Paddy Whack's last night for Jay's birthday and the song "Hook" by Blues Traveler came on. I was standing with Shauna and Kevin Rieffel and I told them, "I am going to yell the fast part at the top of my lungs." The fast part came along, and sure enough, Kevin and I yelled it at the top of our lungs. Everyone at the bar looked at us, which seems to happen to me somewhat often at bars. I'd like to start my review of Paddy Whack's with a huge kudos to the clientele: They either laughed or sang along with us. That's the kind of people I like at a bar, and so far Paddy Whacks gets a point for that.

Perhaps the second most important part of a bar beyond the people there are the money I have to spend there. Get this, on Saturday night there is no cover and $5 pitchers. In fact, there are $5 pitchers of Miller Lite all day everyday.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I expect I will be back to Paddy Whacks.

INFINITELY cooler - her words, not mine

This is for Keith. I found it on his comments:

"Dear Keith,
You already failed. Today is Thursday. This was Tuesday. You stink. John Wilson is waaaay cooler.
Love, Kristin
PS: I take that back. He's a werewolf. So he's INFINITELY cooler.
PPS: You're neat. "


Although, I'd like to add:PPPS, Kristin: John is not always a werewolf because Shauna is nice enough to help shave his back. That's one of the reasons he's marrying her.

Discuss Amongst Yourselves, Shauna and Keith

I wonder if people who don't know how to use computers are like people who couldn't read when people first started reading.

She steal my money

I was walking towards City Hall and some of the area is closed off because Jaime Foxx is shooting a movie. I was waiting at a light and I could have sworn that the guy next to me was Jaime Foxx in fake dreadlocks, a skull cap, and sunglasses. I kept looking at him and he said, "What are you looking at?" I said, "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

So I may have just gotten yelled at by Jaime Foxx.

Between our safety and our ideals

Bananas

Kirk Cameron says that bananas are evidence that God exists. I say that apples are good evidence that oranges exist. I'm eating an apple right now. I know it exists because I can see it and taste it. It's red and delicious. My apple exists.

But do oranges exist? An orange is delicious, but it is not red so it is not an apple. I can remember oranges, but a memory is a terrible thing to trust. After all this talk about oranges, my taste buds and digestive system are telling my brain that it wants an orange. Why would I want an orange if it is not delicious? Oranges must be delicious. I can deduce that it has the same purpose as an apple: To feed me and make me happy.

An apple is red and delicious. An orange is orange and delicious. This is a problem. But I have two guitars in my house right now. One is orange and one is red, but they are both guitars. I can say that the only difference between an apple and an orange is the color and that they both fall under the same category. I call this category "fruit." If guitars can exist with different colors, I can accept that fruits can also exist with different colors. There is a more reason to believe that oranges exist than they don't exist. I am even willing to write it: Oranges exist.

If apples exist and oranges exists, I can say with confidence that bananas exist. Kirk Cameron has never lied to me and, as far as I know, has no reason to lie to me. If bananas exist and Kirk Cameron exists, then it proves that God exists. Based on what I can sense from the apple with my eyes and taste, I can confidently say that God exists.

Naming my blog

Skrubby88 (8:48:05 PM): i need a name for my blog
whatisakeith (8:48:26 PM): let me get my linguist book
whatisakeith (8:49:37 PM): Anorchous - without testicles
Skrubby88 (8:50:12 PM): i picked Some Ton
whatisakeith (8:51:14 PM): how come
Skrubby88 (8:51:48 PM): Somerton without the R
whatisakeith (8:51:56 PM): very nice
whatisakeith (8:52:03 PM): what did u leave the R out for though?
whatisakeith (8:52:07 PM): has to add up
Skrubby88 (8:52:44 PM): because if you leave out the E, Som Rton doesn't make any sense
Skrubby88 (8:52:59 PM): and, because we had this conversation, are you likely to forget?

About

I’m John Wilson, a Philadelphian by birth and an Avalonian by nature. I’ve been coming to Avalon since 1987 when my parents bought their house and have loved every second of it. Whether it’s playing skee-ball at the arcade on 30th Street, getting ice cream at Avalon Freeze, or spending the night at the Princeton, I love everything about Avalon. The only bad thing is leaving.

Avalon’s motto is that they are “cooler by a mile.” Some people say the motto comes from the fact that Avalon is a mile longer than its neighbor, Stone Harbor. Others say that Avalon is a few degrees cooler because it juts out a mile longer into the Atlantic Ocean than any of the other shore towns. With all the different restaurants, shops, and fun things to do, I don’t think it has anything to do with geography. Avalon is not just cooler by a mile, it’s Cooler By A Smile.

If you have a story idea, want to be mentioned in Cooler By A Smile, or just want to say hello you can reach me at JohnRayWilson@gmail.com.